What is the Difference Between a Postpartum Doula & Baby Nurse?

http://prenatalyogacenter.com/blog/what-is-the-difference-between-a-postpartum-doula-a-baby-nurse/ What is the Difference Between a Postpartum Doula & Baby Nurse? When I first announced to my mom that I was pregnant, she was so excited and soon proudly said, “I am going to offer you exactly what my mother offered me after Craig (my brother) was born. A baby nurse!” I graciously said thank you for that generous gift and asked if she would mind if I got a postpartum doula instead. My mom said, “I don’t know what that is, but if that is what you prefer that is fine with me.” Instead of explaining the difference between the two professions, I just thanked her again. Questions regarding the differences between a postpartum doula and a baby nurse- now being called “Newborn Care Specialist”- arise quite often. Here is a run down of the two types of postpartum care so that you can decide what is best for you and your family. Postpartum Doula A person who provides support for the mother and the rest of the family. A big part of the doula’s job is to “mother the mother” and help the new mother recover after birth. There is a lot of focus on education- helping with breastfeeding and bottle feeding support, establishing newborn procedures and routine, tips etc…- The postpartum doula aims to make the mother comfortable and confident in her new role, and to empower the parents to care for their new baby themselves. The doula can also provide some light house keeping, errand running and meal preparation. The hours are flexible and typically range 4-6 hours a day, but overnights are also possible. The parents can also decide if they want the doula every day or just a few days a week. There are certification programs that all certified doula complete. I recommend looking for a reputable certification program such as DONA, CAPPA, Maternity Wise, or Childbirth International when looking to hire a postpartum doula. All the programs I listed are reputable, well respected and established organizations with excellent training programs. To my knowledge, there are not small “doula” organizations that certify. If you are considering hiring a postpartum doula, here are some questions that may help you find the right person. (courtesy of DONA) When interviewing a postpartum doula * Tell me about your experience as a postpartum doula. * What is your philosophy about parenting and supporting women and their families during postpartum? * May we meet to discuss our postpartum needs and the role you will play in supporting us in the postpartum period? * May we call you with postpartum questions or concerns before the birth? * When do your services begin after birth? * What is your experience in breastfeeding support? * How many families have you served? * Have you had a criminal background check, a recent TB test and current CPR certification? * Who is your back-up, and can I meet her? * When would you send your back-up? * What part of your job do you enjoy the most? Baby Nurse now know as Newborn Care Specialist (NCS) This person is a non-medically trained newborn care specialist who’s main focus is on the newborn child. The responsibilities of the NCS are feeding, bathing, changing the infant, washing/cleaning/sterilizing bottles, in addition to sleep training, initiating a schedule for sleeping, meals, nap and play time, advising and providing any requested consultation on infant needs, swaddling, breastfeeding guidance, cord and circumcision care and nursery organization. One of the main differences between the postpartum doula and the baby nurse is the intended focus. The baby nurse will focus more on the care of the baby and not necessarily on the mother. They can relieve the parents of caring for their newborn and allow for down time for parents. In terms of work day, the commitment of hours a baby nurse offers is typically longer then the postpartum doula. Many times the baby nurse lives in with the family after birth. This can range from a week to several months. It is also more common for NCS to do over night stays and will typically work 12 hour or 24/7 shifts. The training a NCS receives can vary from more official groups like Newborn Care Specialist Association (NCSA) to smaller trainings lead by individual agencies or no specific training at all. When interviewing a Newborn Care Specialist * What has been your experience caring for newborns? * What kind of training have you had in newborn care? Are you certified by an organization? * How do you keep track of feeding and sleep patterns or problems? * What is your experience in breastfeeding support? * How many families have you served? * What kind of time off do you require? * What part of your job do you enjoy the most? I hope that this helps clarify the difference between the two types of help available for new mothers. Neither one is better than the other. It all depends on what kind of support you are looking for postpartum. If possible, I would recommend meeting the person you are intending to hire to make sure she is a good match for you. The postpartum time can be very vulnerable and you want to make sure that you found a good, supportive match.

" Nearly 25 Years of Fathering -- and All I've Got Are these 3 Lousy Tips" - Jim Higley

That's why (unless someone is at risk of being hurt or hurting someone), I'm now far more likely to say something like, "You know, the way you talk to me is just not working for me. But I'm not going to scream and simply hand you a punishment. I want you to think about it before we talk later this afternoon." http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/436977?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents Nearly 25 Years of Fathering -- and All I've Got Are these 3 Lousy Tips The Blog Jim Higley Dec 03, 2013 I haven't read many parenting books. And I know, that's a little surprising for a guy who spends most of his time talking and writing about being a dad. So, if you chose to read no further, I understand. It's pitiful. I know. But what I lack in reading and scholarly research, I've compensated for with a lot of observations, conversations with professionals and good old-fashioned trial-and-error. A little over 24 years of it. One of the things I've learned is that being an effective dad requires strong communications with your child. If you can nail that part of the dad job, the rest comes much easier. A daunting task for sure -- especially as kids get older. So, here are my three top tips to help you grease that two-way road to trust-filled communications with your children. Put it on Ice You don't need to react so quickly to every situation. Slow down and think. Erupting like Mt. Vesuvius, spewing words and emotions, doesn't work. It's scary and models inappropriate behavior for your children. Give yourself a little time to think. A minute. Five. With older kids I might wait several hours or even a day. The key is to plant the seed with your child that the topic is "open" and that you're going to revisit it with them after the two of you have a chance to mutually think about it. With little kids who are misbehaving, you can literally pick them up, carry them to their room, and have a firm chat after a couple of minutes of cool-down time. But with older kids, that tactic doesn't work. Additionally, if you verbally attack an older kid in the heat of the moment, they are likely to feel cornered and trapped. You're simply inviting them to verbally attack you back. That's why (unless someone is at risk of being hurt or hurting someone), I'm now far more likely to say something like, "You know, the way you talk to me is just not working for me. But I'm not going to scream and simply hand you a punishment. I want you to think about it before we talk later this afternoon." Kids desperately want respect. Even when they don't show it towards you. They want to be heard. When you introduce topics with respect and consideration, it makes it much harder for them to continue their cycle of behavior. Try it. 30-Second Rule Stop lecturing. And when you feel the urge to lecture, limit it to 30 seconds. Kids hate lectures. I bet you do, too. If you can't get 95 percent of your point made in 30 seconds, then you need to think through your message. When I feel the need to preach to my kids, I introduce it with, "I need 30 seconds to share something with you that's been on my mind. Is your head in a good place to listen?" And you know what? Nine times out of 10, my kids tell me to bring it on right then and there. And you know something else? They listen. I end my half-minute sermon with something like, "Okay, that's what I wanted you to know. I want to hear your thoughts later today when you're ready to talk." Sometimes they want to talk right away. Sometimes they noodle and come back on their own. And sometimes I have to bring the subject back up a bit later. But it's almost always a smoother road to a sincere, open conversation. Start with 30 seconds. It works. Stop Solving Everything This one took me years to figure out. It's one that is really hard for dads to get good at because we love fixing and solving things. I'm talking about those times in life when your kids are mad, upset, hurt, frustrated, or angry over a host of things. Mean friends. Unfair coaches. Tough teachers. Annoying siblings. The list is miles long. I know for me, any time I used to hear another problem de jour, I'd reply to it with strategies for fixing it and make it go away. "Here's what you need to do with your friends -" "Next time your coach tells you blah, blah, blah, you should -" "Well, you should never let your friends tell you -" And you know what I've learned? Kids don't always want you to tell them what to do. They don't always need you to strategize. They're also far more resilient and capable than you give them credit for. A lot of times, they just want you to be in the zone with them. Empathize. Go deep. Be in the moment. Experience their feelings. I figured this out one day when my 13-year-old daughter was sulking in her bedroom, angry at mean friends. It tore me apart. I didn't want her to hurt. But at the advice of another wise dad, I tried something new. I went into her room, laid on the floor, and just stared at the ceiling with her. And eventually she said, "I hate my friends." And I replied, "That must suck to feel that way." And what followed was a dad-changing moment. She told me details of what was going on while I just stared at the ceiling. She told me about her hurt and pain. And I just kept reaffirming my love for her, my sadness at the situation, and my understanding of her feelings. And she was fine with that. She didn't need me to solve it. She needed me to experience it with her. I'm convinced that my actions sent her a far more important message than had I tried to give her an assortment of ideas to fix the specific problem. *** So there you have it. My top three tips. And just in case you're thinking, "Taking the easy road, huh?" the truth is all three of these ideas require you to stop, think and really focus on what your child needs. They require conscious parenting. But slowing down, taking time to think, fine-tuning your message, and acknowledging your child's emotions are collectively some of the best ways to build strong communications. Try them out. Modify them to work for your family. The rewards are plentiful. /// Learn more about Jim at: BobbleheadDad.com Jim's also on Pinterest Learn more about Jim for Speaking Engagements Join Jim's Facebook Community Sent from my iPhone Sara Kaplan 973-945-6657 sara@kaplan.org sarrez3@gmail.com http://www.sarakaplanart.com/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/sararesnickkaplan http://pinterest.com/sararkaplan/art-resume-teaching-artist/