25 Alternatives to “Good Job”

http://picklebums.com/2014/07/10/25-alternatives-good-job/

Say thank you when you mean it – explain why you are grateful for your child’s actions.

• Thank you for helping with…
• It makes mornings/dinner/outings easier when you…. thank you
• I really appreciate it when you…
• Thank you for doing that… it means I/we can now…

Make an observation based on facts – just say what you see without emotions or judgment.

• We did it together.
• Wow! You made a building/drawing/etc.
• You did it on your own.
• You did x and then y and worked it out.
• You used lots of red paint/blocks/tape/etc.
• You made it really big/small/colourful/complicated/etc.
• That took you a long time, and you did it!

Extend and encourage – extend learning and encourage conversation by asking questions about what you see while also recognising their efforts.

• How did you do that?
• You did X, what will you do now?
• Can you tell me about it?
• What is your favourite part?
• How did you think of that?

Put feelings into words – explain how something makes you feel, help your kids notice how their actions make others feel and acknowledge your children’s own feelings.

• I really enjoy doing this with you.
• I love watching you create/help your sister/play soccer/ etc.
• I’m so proud to be your mum, every day, no matter what.
• Look how happy your friend is when you share/help/smile/etc.
• You kept going, even when it was hard.
• You look so pleased to have done that!
• You made X feel so pleased when you did that.
• It makes you feel good when you do X.

Say nothing – we don’t need to praise every little action, or fill every space with noise. It is enough to sit back and watch our children’s delight in their own achievements

• Say nothing – just smile.

Parenting Affirmations

http://pickanytwo.net/affirmations-for-moms/

20 One-Line Affirmations for Moms

1. If I do nothing today besides hug my kids, then I’ve done enough.
2. I’m not the perfect mother, but I’m exactly the one my children need. Tweet this!
3. Today I will see the best in my child and the best in myself.
4. The decisions made by other moms do not need to dictate mine.

5. I have been called to motherhood—the most powerful calling in the world.
6. I respect my children; I respect myself.
7. Being a good mom takes courage, and today I’m feeling brave.
8. My mothering body is beautiful.
9. Today I will be the type of person I would like my children to become.
10. There’s value in showing my kids my vulnerability.
11. Not loving every moment of motherhood doesn’t mean I don’t love being a mom.

12. I will teach my child by example more so than by advice.
13. There is no such thing as “just a mom.” Tweet this!
14. I accept my children just as they are.
15. I love my kids even when I don’t particularly like them.
16. Today I will be an intentional parent.
17. I am a blessing to my family.
18. As I teach my kids today, I’ll also be open to the lessons they can teach me.
19. I’m grateful for my life as a mom.
20. I love my kids, which means I’m doing just fine.

100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child by by Alissa Marquess on September 23, 2013

http://creativewithkids.com/100-ways-to-be-kind-to-your-child/

100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child

Tell your child:

1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way.  My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.

Share:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.
Play:
21. Charades
22. Hop Scotch
23. Board Games
24. Hide & Seek
25. Simon Says
26. Twenty Questions
27. I Spy on long car rides
28. Catch

Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!

Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.

Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A story and then act out the plot.
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.

Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To silly songs together.
56. For that question that means your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.

Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?

Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.

Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To let your child pour ingredients into the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with your child while they play.

Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.

Delight:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smiley face shape.
88. Make sound effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.

Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.

Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one!  What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?

15 Tips for Raising Kids with a Positive Body Image September 23, 2012 by Paige Lucas-Stannard

1. Never use the word fat in a derogatory way. Avoid media that does.
2. Never imply that you can’t do something or wear something because of your size (“oh, not with these thighs!”)
3. Never compliment others based on size (how many times is “you look so thin!” the ultimate compliment?)
4. Point out the beauty of diversity in people and nature – nurture the idea that beauty is diversity. I love to say “what would the word be if all the flowers looked the same?”
5. Avoid making physical activity about size or based on what you ate (“I have to jog off that cake”). Physical activity should be joyful.
6. Do not label foods as “good” and “bad”
7. Offer a variety of foods and model moderate indulgence and a wide consumption of foods. Eating should be joyful.
8. Don’t make your kids eat if they say they aren’t hungry¹. The refrain “finish your dinner!” should be stricken from the mommy lexicon. Better to let them trust their bodies than feel guilt about wasting food.
9. Don’t deny your kids food if they say they are hungry. Another area where we often ignore our kids opinions and feelings. Try to make your pantry a “yes” pantry with a variety of healthy options that your kids can eat when they want.
10. Never comment on the amount (too little or too much) that your kids eat.
11. NEVER use food as a reward, incentive, or punishment! (this is SO abused among parents!!)
12. Guard your children against negative body-image media – stop your subscriptions to women’s mags, don’t watch Biggest Loser, Toddler and Tiaras (focusing on appearance), and any variety of shows promoting appearance as a route to happiness.
13. Avoid talking about a nutrionalist approach to food – disassembling “food” into fat, carbs, calories, and other things that need to be obsessed about and counted (difficult since it is explicitly taught in many schools).
14. Encourage alternative means of self-esteem besides appearance – spirituality, values, empathy, effort, etc.
15. Volunteer! It is much harder to think of something so superficial as size in the face of true plight.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2012/09/raising-kids-with-a-positive-body-image/?utm_content=buffer3c74e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer