http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/babies/teaching-your-baby-to-put-himself-to-sleep
Teaching Your Baby to Put Himself to Sleep
How do you get your baby to go to sleep and sleep through the night?
She may accomplish that milestone on her own, soon. Or she may need a little help from you to learn how to put herself to sleep. We all need to learn how to get back to sleep when the normal rhythm of our sleep cycles takes us into a slightly wakened state during the night.
Photo: SoulfulI suggest that you begin by reading the section on Infants and Sleep, for a general framing of the issue, including my bias toward keeping infants near you during sleep. (Why this bias? Because it gets you more sleep, and reduces the risk of SIDS for your baby.)
If you're considering Ferbering, you might want to read my biased view on that. Finally, I recommend that you check out Toddlers and Sleep for step by step recommendations on teaching a little one to sleep on her own.
After all that reading, you'll have a decision to make. Do you embark on some kind of sleep training with your baby? Your strategy will depend on the age of your baby, and of course also on how desperate you are for some sleep.
You'll be interested to know that most babies either do not fall asleep without being held, or do not sleep all night in their own bed. It simply isn't a "normal" thing for small humans to do, biologically speaking.
You can, however, teach babies to fall asleep themselves without leaving them to cry. This is not an overnight process -- it can take months -- but it does work. If you'd like to begin developing good sleep habits now, you'll want to start by breaking the association between nursing (or sucking) and falling asleep. Usually, babies find it easiest if you start by rocking them. So you can take this step-by-step:
1. Separate nursing/eating from sleep. Feed your baby when he wakes up from sleep, and again a bit later if he is awake and still hungry. But when he is just sleepy, experiment with walking or rocking him instead of feeding him. That way, he begins to learn to fall asleep without sucking. Of course, you are still using rocking or walking to get him to sleep, but that is an easier sleep association to break than sucking. PLEASE NOTE: This does NOT mean you withhold food from a hungry baby. You don't start this until your baby is several months old, nursing or eating well, and physically thriving. Infants need to eat very often, so you will often find that your infant is hungry and tired at the same time. If you walk or rock your baby and he continues to cry and protest, then he may very well be hungry as well as tired. In that case, feed him. The point here is gradually break the sucking/sleep association by helping your baby fall asleep in other ways than sucking, and you do that by offering the option. More and more often, he will indeed fall asleep. If he's hungry, he will keep crying to let you know, in which case of course you would feed him.
2. Help your little one learn to fall asleep lying still (in your arms). Once she's used to falling asleep being rocked or walked instead of eating, the next phase is to get her to fall asleep without rocking. So you begin with rocking, but then, before she is actually asleep, you stop rocking, and just sit holding her. If she protests, begin rocking again. Keep repeating this. It may take 25 attempts, but eventually she will begin falling asleep even though you have stopped rocking. That’s a real victory. Do this for a week or so until she's used to it as your new routine: getting sleepy while rocking and then falling asleep in your arms while not rocking.
3. Help your little one learn to fall asleep in his bed. The next step is to
wait until Baby is almost asleep in the chair with you holding him, then stand and hold him still in your arms in his sleeping position (on his back) until he is almost asleep and accepts the stillness. If he protests, rock him in your arms as he falls asleep while you’re standing. Again, do this for a week until he is used to this routine. Next step is to begin lowering him into the crib or bed still awake although almost asleep. When he protests, pick him up again in the rocking position and rock a little, then stop. Keep repeating this. It may take 25 attempts, but eventually he will let you put him in the bed without protest. Now you are almost home.
4. Touch instead of holding, in her bed. Eventually, you will be able to put your baby in the crib and hold her there while she falls asleep, because she will not need rocking any more. Then you move to touching, but not holding, your baby, while she falls asleep in the crib. Eventually, she will be able to fall asleep with you simply holding her hand, or putting your hand on her forehead. Keep doing this until she accepts it as your new routine -- getting sleepy rocking, but then being put into her bed lying on her back and falling asleep there, eventually without you even touching her. Guess what? You now have a baby who can be put down in the crib awake, and who will fall asleep on her own!
Recommended Resources:
I highly recommend Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Great article from Aha Parenting on increasing Child IQ
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/raise-great-kids/intellegent-creative-child/child-loves-read
Forget Baby Einstein. The single best way to increase your child’s IQ is to read to her and instill a love of reading. Does your child read every evening, not because it’s assigned, but just for fun? Some kids do, and those are the kids who do better academically, at every step of the way. School performance correlates more directly with children's reading scores than any other single indicator.
Most parents buy board books for their babies and say they hope they'll love reading. And yet, by middle school, most kids stop reading books that aren't assigned in school. Only 28 percent of eighth graders scored at or above the proficiency level in reading in 1994; in fact, only two percent of them read at an advanced level.
What happens? The habit of reading never really gets ingrained in childhood. Our kids love leafing through books as toddlers, looking at the pictures. They may even enjoy reading as elementary schoolers. But reading is hard work, and life offers so many other ways to entertain themselves that reading always seems more like work than play. They never get to that delicious place where reading a book is more fun than almost anything.
So how can you inspire a lasting love of reading?
1. Read to your child from the earliest age. And not just at bedtime. Buy board books and cloth books as some of your child's first toys. Carry them around with snacks in the diaper bag. Create "cozy time," a ritual of connection in which you both associate love and cuddling with reading. Any time either of you needs a break, grab a book and read to your child. Post tantrum, during lunch, after school, while you have your coffee on Sunday, any time can be cozy time.
2. Begin visiting the library regularly by the time your child is two and she may well prefer reading to any other activity. Use the time in the library to read to your child as well as to select books. My kids would never sit still at library "story times," but if your child likes them, by all means go. Write down the names of the books you check out if your library can't give you a printout, so you can keep track of returning them on time. Keep library books on a separate shelf in the living room or kitchen so you don't lose them, and so you can always easily find something new to read. (If you don't take them out of the house, you won't lose them.)
Supervising a toddler and perusing bookshelves is always a challenge; it helps if you can develop a list of authors and books so you can find good ones easily. Librarians usually have a list of favorite books for various ages, and other parents and kids are always a good source of suggestions. Find some series you like and share your child's excitement when you find another book by a beloved author. (See Recommended Children's Books) (http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/raise-great-kids/intellegent-creative-child/children-books) .
3. Read to your child as often as possible. I found that before my children could really participate in meals, reading to them during lunch or an early dinner (when the other parent isn't yet home from work) entertained them enough to keep them sitting. They were much more likely to try the foods I put in front of them with my company and the diversion of a book, than if I let them sit in the high chair or at the kitchen table to eat while I cooked. This is very different from putting kids in front of a screen while they eat. Then, they stare at the screen as they unconsciously put things in their mouth. Being read to is more like listening to the radio; they can look at their food and savor it as they listen, glancing occasionally at the pictures you hold up.
4. Don't push your child to learn to read. He will read naturally once he develops the preliminary skills. Your goal is not to help him sound out words, but to encourage a love of books, both pictures and stories. Teaching him to read will take all the fun out of reading. If you push him, he'll feel put on the spot, and he'll feel dumb. That feeling will last his whole life, and it won't endear reading to him.
Some very smart children don't learn to read until they're over seven years old. Don't worry. They'll quickly catch up with those who started at four or five. I know two children who were reading at 3 years old, and at 6 years old, respectively. They are both now 9, and in the fourth grade. They both read at about an eighth grade reading level. The only difference is that the early reader feels insecure about no longer being “special,” and often acts obnoxiously superior to other kids. There is absolutely no benefit to pushing your child to read "early," and there are many drawbacks. (Should you stop her from teaching herself to read? Of course not. I'm just saying not to push it and not to make it your child's claim to fame, because sooner or later everyone else will catch up. It's a bit like whether a child learns to walk at nine months or 16 months. Who cares?)
5. Don't stop reading to him once he learns to read. Read to him every step of the way, for as long as he'll let you. Continuing to read to him will keep him interested as his skills develop. And it gives you lots of fodder for conversations about values and choices.
Parents often complain that their early readers CAN read, but just don't seem interested in doing so.........(Continue reading (http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/raise-great-kids/intellegent-creative-child/child-loves-read) )
Forget Baby Einstein. The single best way to increase your child’s IQ is to read to her and instill a love of reading. Does your child read every evening, not because it’s assigned, but just for fun? Some kids do, and those are the kids who do better academically, at every step of the way. School performance correlates more directly with children's reading scores than any other single indicator.
Most parents buy board books for their babies and say they hope they'll love reading. And yet, by middle school, most kids stop reading books that aren't assigned in school. Only 28 percent of eighth graders scored at or above the proficiency level in reading in 1994; in fact, only two percent of them read at an advanced level.
What happens? The habit of reading never really gets ingrained in childhood. Our kids love leafing through books as toddlers, looking at the pictures. They may even enjoy reading as elementary schoolers. But reading is hard work, and life offers so many other ways to entertain themselves that reading always seems more like work than play. They never get to that delicious place where reading a book is more fun than almost anything.
So how can you inspire a lasting love of reading?
1. Read to your child from the earliest age. And not just at bedtime. Buy board books and cloth books as some of your child's first toys. Carry them around with snacks in the diaper bag. Create "cozy time," a ritual of connection in which you both associate love and cuddling with reading. Any time either of you needs a break, grab a book and read to your child. Post tantrum, during lunch, after school, while you have your coffee on Sunday, any time can be cozy time.
2. Begin visiting the library regularly by the time your child is two and she may well prefer reading to any other activity. Use the time in the library to read to your child as well as to select books. My kids would never sit still at library "story times," but if your child likes them, by all means go. Write down the names of the books you check out if your library can't give you a printout, so you can keep track of returning them on time. Keep library books on a separate shelf in the living room or kitchen so you don't lose them, and so you can always easily find something new to read. (If you don't take them out of the house, you won't lose them.)
Supervising a toddler and perusing bookshelves is always a challenge; it helps if you can develop a list of authors and books so you can find good ones easily. Librarians usually have a list of favorite books for various ages, and other parents and kids are always a good source of suggestions. Find some series you like and share your child's excitement when you find another book by a beloved author. (See Recommended Children's Books) (http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/raise-great-kids/intellegent-creative-child/children-books) .
3. Read to your child as often as possible. I found that before my children could really participate in meals, reading to them during lunch or an early dinner (when the other parent isn't yet home from work) entertained them enough to keep them sitting. They were much more likely to try the foods I put in front of them with my company and the diversion of a book, than if I let them sit in the high chair or at the kitchen table to eat while I cooked. This is very different from putting kids in front of a screen while they eat. Then, they stare at the screen as they unconsciously put things in their mouth. Being read to is more like listening to the radio; they can look at their food and savor it as they listen, glancing occasionally at the pictures you hold up.
4. Don't push your child to learn to read. He will read naturally once he develops the preliminary skills. Your goal is not to help him sound out words, but to encourage a love of books, both pictures and stories. Teaching him to read will take all the fun out of reading. If you push him, he'll feel put on the spot, and he'll feel dumb. That feeling will last his whole life, and it won't endear reading to him.
Some very smart children don't learn to read until they're over seven years old. Don't worry. They'll quickly catch up with those who started at four or five. I know two children who were reading at 3 years old, and at 6 years old, respectively. They are both now 9, and in the fourth grade. They both read at about an eighth grade reading level. The only difference is that the early reader feels insecure about no longer being “special,” and often acts obnoxiously superior to other kids. There is absolutely no benefit to pushing your child to read "early," and there are many drawbacks. (Should you stop her from teaching herself to read? Of course not. I'm just saying not to push it and not to make it your child's claim to fame, because sooner or later everyone else will catch up. It's a bit like whether a child learns to walk at nine months or 16 months. Who cares?)
5. Don't stop reading to him once he learns to read. Read to him every step of the way, for as long as he'll let you. Continuing to read to him will keep him interested as his skills develop. And it gives you lots of fodder for conversations about values and choices.
Parents often complain that their early readers CAN read, but just don't seem interested in doing so.........(Continue reading (http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/raise-great-kids/intellegent-creative-child/child-loves-read) )
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